If you'd like me to critique a chapter in your story, please email me a copy of it in .dos/.dosx format or just copy it to the body of the email to travis.sullivan (at) gmail (dot) com (no spaces and use the @ and a .) or just copy/click this.
Beyond whatever things you would like me to focus on, I try to check for grammar and spelling mistakes (both are not my strongest suit, but I'm okay with them) first. After that, I go through and write down my opinion line by line, sometimes giving suggestions for a fix. At the end, I give my overall opinion of the chapter, what I liked, what I didn't like, would I keep reading in the current state, and if that answer were no, what changes would need to be made in order to have me continue reading if I were a reader. (I'm not saying if I would continue critiquing as I generally only do a few chapters of most people's works for critiques unless they are also critiquing my work)
Everything I write is my opinion and my opinion alone. Please don't take the comments personally, and if the changes or complaints aren't something that you think is necessary, just ignore them. You should only use what you think is best for your story as it is just that, your story.
For an example of my work, please check out my first critique.
On critiques, I'll email you a copy about a day before I post it. When you make changes and edit, feel free to send me the updated copy as well as some responses to my questions and comments, and I'll be happy to critique it again. This will show readers what you have taken away from the first critique and how things have improved, thus helping them improve their own writing.
I look forward to checking out your submissions,